i think more and more there’s kind of a trend these days to annoint something or someone the best ever. maybe it started with the comic book guy on the simpsons proclaiming everything worst ___ ever. but maybe, and i think more likely, we’re all just a little full of ourselves. i notice this especially in sports, where tiger is the best golfer ever, federer is the best tennis player ever, and kobe is better then mj. really? i think tiger probably is the best ever, but no one else is. no movie or book that came out recently was the best ever. this is not the best era ever. that honor, of course, goes to the stone age, where they invented all kinds of brilliant things, from the club to the bear-skin coverall to fire to the sexy, scruffy look to all those cars that you had to pedal with your feet like the one fred flinstone drove. what exactly have we invented recently? easier-to-use jar openers. slightly more efficient gardening tools. t-shirts with sayings that are funny the first time you wear them. are we so misguided as to think that everything going on now is better than anything that went on in the past and anything that will go on in the future? we must be idiots. i think this current time period will be remembered for everybody becoming extremely fat and losing their money and freaking out followed by electing our first black president followed by everybody calling themselves noble and courageous for electing a black man president and that’s about it. there’s a new bond now, harry potter is older and awkwardly hormonal but still comes around every summer, batman is cool again, vin diesel still makes fast and furious movies, and eddie murphy is somehow still getting work. i think times now are unremarkable and we should all accept it. great things have happened in the past and will happen again in the future but not right now. sit back and relax, people, seek comfort in mediocrity. yes, every group needs a leader, but that leader needs a bunch of submissive sheep to appreciate him and tell him he’s great. our era just happens to be a sheep. so what. i don’t see any einsteins when i walk down the street. we just got dealt a nothing hand. let’s just fold. it’s better than bluffing our way to the final hand and then looking like idiots when we have a pair of two.
