i’m learning a lot during my summer job at a vet hospital. i think dogs and cats are very different from the kinds of animals i’ve worked with previously, wild animals. for one, dogs and cats need their nails trimmed like people. also, they like people. most wild animals don’t. but dogs and cats, they love people. a dog you don’t know may come right up to you and lick you, which i’ve learned means that he likes you, not that he’s trying to transfer harmful bacteria to you, which is the intent of wild elk and squirrels who lick you in the wild. also, cats may rub against you, which also means that they like you. most dogs and cats have “owners”, which is usually a euphemism for a human that drags that animal on a chain and yells at them. most people yell at or scold their animals at the vet, pretending that the pet is usually better behaved at home. usually though they are just embarassed that their animals are disobedient and naughty. that’s okay, though, it’s hard to raise and discipline a child of a different species. has anyone ever stopped to think about that? raising a puppy or kitty is a tall, tall task. we should be tremendously proud of how successful we are at getting our pets to do anything, given that they do not understand a word we are saying and vice versa. if i was given a random animal and told to raise him, i would be ecstatic if he didn’t maul me immediately. i’ve learned that dogs like it when you pet them and cats like you to feed them. dogs like it when you talk to them in a baby voice, but you tend to sound like a complete idiot when you do, so beware. a good dog is one that is calm yet playful, obedient and affectionate. a good cat, in my opinion, is one that doesn’t scratch the hell out of you when you try to get him out of his cage in the exam room. cats come in different colors and dogs come in different colors, sizes, and shapes. if you are thinking of getting a cat or a dog, maybe get one of each and then after some time decide which one you like. the other one can be discarded, either in a cardboard box on garbage day or dropped off at the back door of an expensive restaurant. some people are dog people, some people are cat people, and some people want to dominate and yell at children but cannot conceive. a responsible pet owner, judging by the regulars at my hospital, takes his animals to the vet for yearly check-ups and vaccinations, complains that the bill is too much, pledges to put his overweight animal on a diet, and shows up the next year with a smile and a fatter animal. keep your animals trim and athletic. otherwise they’ll die. and you’ll cry.
