cribs
after watching a couple of episodes of cribs for the first time, i think i now better understand the elements of luxury that one should have in one’s house and the kinds of things that are sensible and practical to do with lots of money. apparently if you’re rich you need a big, big house. that much is obvious. you also need a viewing room with a projector, screen, and a row of couches resembling a movie theater. you also need a great big bed with dozens of pillows. i think that part is key; even if the bed is a regular-sized bed, not a rich person bed, it is essential to have many pillows. you need a suprisingly normal kitchen and make odd choices regarding what you fill your refridgerator with. for example, you could fill half the fridge with red bull. or, your entire freezer with ice cream sandwiches. or have lots of danimals brand fruit yogurt. or have a fridge full of bags and bags of carrots. i think the desired effect is just that when someone opens your fridge, they will be confused and think that you are an idiot. that is how you know you are looking into a rich man’s fridge. also, you obviously need a number of luxury items that are there just for show. a hallmark of a rich person’s house is a grand piano that is never played. or a fancy chess set made of diamonds and gold. maybe a nuclear reactor. perhaps a series of expensive paintings. rich people also like to have objects that were gifted/lifted from other rich people. such as a guitar from a famous guitarist or sinatra’s necktie. for some reason, having something that belonged to frank sinatra makes you cool. so most rich people have something relating to frank sinatra in their houses. the backyard is also something that rich people take great pride in spending lots of money on. most rich people have some variation of a pond and waterfall in their backyard. the waterfall can be part of the swimming pool or separate from the pool. a hot tub is also a must. rich people usually have a large area of perfectly cut grass in their backyard. most male rich people have a deck with a large grill. they all say that they have cookouts and invite friends to barbeque, but i think in a lot of cases the grill is not used for grilling but rather for storing pot. rich people also must have lots of expensive cars. the one thing about rich people is that they don’t park their cars in their garages, they park them on their driveway for everyone to see. but you never are shown the garage. a rich person’s garage has a different function from a normal person’s garage, a function that most of us will never know. a rich person must own at least three cars. a rich person must own a rolls royce. other cars can vary. usually one of the other two is either a bmw or an escalade. the third car is usually an antique, but could be a motorcycle. these are a few of my notes on the lifestyle of a rich person. feel free to use them if you ever get rich.
