a few things
-i had/have this friend joe who was nice and funny but he got too wired during exams and this one time we were taking this french test and i was sitting next to him and he was clearly flustered; he was holding his forehead in his hand and scribbling frantically and then all of a sudden he turned to me and in a really vicious tone said, “Breathe through your mouth!” Given that I was scribbling furiously to finish my test and also completely flabbergasted by his comment and tone, all I mustered was a sarcastic chuckle. And some people heard and some people didn’t and everyone forget and continued their test. And we never spoke of it again and I kind of forgot about it until now. But it still stings. It stings like a bee sting that you got in french class in tenth grade that won’t stop stinging.
-have you ever walked by a construction worker at work? like not a fenced off construction site but when someone is set up on the sidewalk installing a window or painting something. and then you see his pickup parked on along the sidewalk and on the dashboard is a neatly prepared sandwich carefully wrapped in saran wrap. or the sandwich may be sitting on a toolbox by his ladder. but for someone reason it is of great importance for the sandwich to be in plain sight of the construction worker, and also the sandwich must be wrapped in transparent wrapping. and it can’t be hidden in a lunchpail or brown paper bag. have you noticed this? and i don’t pretend to know the business but i did volunteer with habitat for humanity for a bit and whenever i worked on a house lunch was always a big part of the day. it wasn’t like, let’s get this project done and let’s get this done and somewhere along the way we’ll break for lunch. lunch was always part of the schedule; when i showed up for habitat, one of the first things that would be decided before anyone even picked up a hammer was when we would eat and what we would eat. i do not intend to imply that construction workers are slackers. i think they are very hard-working individuals, but for some reason lunch is integral. i imagine that the construction worker lays the sandwich out on the dashboard of his truck, or sitting somewhere close to where he is working, and every once in a while he will take a break from his measuring or hammering, carefully wipe the sweat from his brow, peer down at this sandwich and think, “I’m going to eat you in a little bit.”
-what annoys me is when you’re sitting in class in the middle of a lecture and someone shows up late and comes in the back and sits down and there are like those same few people who HAVE to turn around and see who it is that has come late. like they’re the tardy police or something. happens everyday, people come late, and the same three people turn around and look to see who it is. this just has to happen. i don’t know why. but they need to do this. and sometimes they like try to turn it into an act, or be nonchalant, and like, incorporate the turn around into like a stretch or a yawn or something. just drop the act you jerks. it’s pitiful.
- i think one of the signs of growing up is having to ask people how they are doing. like when you’re little, everyone grown up you come across asks you “how are you?” at the beginning of every interaction, be it your mother’s friend, your doctor, that guy in the alley who’s giving away free lollipops. and when you’re little you’re supposed to say “good.” and that’s it. but when you’re all grown up you have to be the one asking people how they are. i think it’s pretty empty, i mean unless someone is sick or was sick there’s really no point in asking someone how they are doing because nobody has anything interesting to say and nobody wants to hear it. it’s completely useless dialogue. kids who’re growing up but not fully grown up have developed like a transitional “how are you?”, asking people what’s up or what’s going on or something similar. but it all leads to “how are you?” it’s all pointless. so i think we should start a movement to rebel against this tear in our social fabric. next time someone asks you how you are, I encourage you to wallop them on the head with a salmon. you’ll be making a difference.
