hoops
i played one season in a basketball rec league when i was in middle school. it was a golden season. i joined my team in the middle of the season and we went on to lose only one more game the rest of the season, the one loss coming by one point in overtime. there were many memorable moments from the season. milad was involved in one of them. he was our school’s version of fez on that 70’s show. and by that i mean he played a dork at school but in real life dated models. milad was lefty. and he didn’t take off his watch for the game. for those of you who are not basketball junkies, wearing a watch during a basketball game is a faux pas. so this one time milad grabbed a rebound after someone on the opposing team missed a shot. and keep in mind that this was the first positive play milad had made that season. he promptly got a grip of the ball and shot it at his own basket. had he made it, the situation would’ve been similar to a little boy in pop warner football who catches the ball and gets confused and runs the wrong way as his teammates and father on the sideline scream for him to turn around. i never understood that, if your teammate/son is running the wrong way and about to score on his own team, 19 different people yelling 19 different things is only going to sound like cheering. you must either yell in unison or one at a time. people have still don’t understand this. another similar situation to milad’s is like in world cup soccer when a defender is attempting to pass the ball to his goalie but kicks it too hard and ends up scoring on his own team. it sucks when that happens, and people have been killed over it. but the difference in milad’s case was that he missed. and one of his teammates gathered the rebound, there was an awkward pause as everyone was mad at milad but decided they couldn’t really yell at him because he missed, and play continued. before the playoffs started there was an all-star competition and a slam dunk contest. and we were little kids and we couldn’t dunk so they lowered the hoops to six feet. so this one guy jumped over a basketball rack and dunked and we all thought that was pretty cool and the next guy pulled his shirt over his head and dunked blind and that was cool. and then i prepared to do this thing where i bounced the ball really high, ran up and caught it in mid-air and dunked. so i bounced the ball and as i ran up a slipped on a wet spot and skidded against the floor and my shorts were pulled down by the friction and i got so embarassed i pooped and since my shorts were down everybody saw it. that was embarassing. that was the last year they did the all-star competition. okay, i made that up. i did not sign up for the dunk competition, partially because i was afraid of pooping in front of everyone but mainly because everyone would become so jealous of my dunking skills that all my friends would hate me, sending me into a poop-inducing downward spiral. well my team finished the season on a winning streak and cruised through the playoffs. i would like to think that we won because i joined the team in midseason, but that would not be accurate. it was fun, nonetheless. rec leagues are always fun. the hard work. the camaraderie. the chicks. the end of season banquet involving free generic soda, plastic trophies, and dry chocolate cake. as we enjoyed the cake and washed it down with our carbonated drinks, we reflected on a season well spent. things would never be the same again, but for those few months, team white, which was what we were because the league basically took the same tshirt and printed it in like six different colors and the teams were designated by color, which in my opinion is competely unoriginal and racist, but that was their decision. anyway, it was a golden year.
