fun stuff
i don’t know who invented amusement parks, and chances are, neither do you. but i think it was a good idea. i view amusement parks as a positive addition to our society. i mean they’re not that great or anything. but it’s one more thing you can do when you want to do something. i mean in terms of doing stuff there are really two scenarios. one is when you really want to do something or go somewhere but your work or school or wallet prevents you from fulfilling this desire. like if you want to take your best girl to Paris but you don’t have enough money. or if you really wanted to see the backstreet boys in concert but then realized that doing so would be, as it were, “uncool”. and then the other situation in which people often find themselves is when they have a day or two days or a week to burn but have not a thing to do. and this happens a lot. people really don’t take full advantages of their opportunities, as a whole. like if you’re playing fantasy basketball and you select a certain player to get his fantasy profile, certain sites will offer a list of this players strengths and then a list of his weaknesses. for example:
michael jordan
strengths: unstoppable scorer, elite defender, outstanding playmaker, the king of clutch shooting, the ultimate champion.
weaknesses: really old, bald.
air bud
strengths: unbelievable vertical, quick, good stamina
weaknesses: dogs aren’t allowed in the NBA, liable to poop on the court, ball hog.
Well the reason i bring this up is to make a sort of analogy, that being that if the human race was listed under this fantasy basketball format, one of our weaknesses would be that we, as a race, do not take full advantage of our opportunities. anyway, when we don’t have time, we always have stuff we want to do. yet when we have time, there’s never anything to do. does this represent a coincidence? that every time we have time to have fun, there’s nothing fun to do? very likely. but also, there is a finite list of activities that we, as a race, can engage in when we want to do something fun but have no particular ideas or inspirations. the movies. bowling alley. hanging out at the airport. attend a sporting event. visit the local library. play pointguard for the new york knicks. or, better yet, go to an amusement park. and kids realize how cool amusement parks are when they are young and prohibited from riding certain rides. as a child, having something forbidden or prohibited is a pretty good indication that the occupation in question is awesome. so as children we are programmed to believe in the magic of the roller coaster. and wise to do so. amusement parks are fun. the good ones create little make believe towns with street signs and shops and cobblestone roads. you can pretend that you live in the olden days, complete with unicycles, stickball, deep-fried oreos, nickel theaters, the model T ford, and roadside cotton candy vendors. you can ride wooden coasters named things like the cyclone, the thunderbolt, or the hooker. or newer roller coasters like the superman or the batman. and then those crooked games where you can win stuff. i admit i usually cannot resist the temptation to partake in a few such games. but in concept, there is little incentive. have you seen the prizes? a dumb teddy bear or a stuffed maggot or a furry flea. the best thing you can hope for are usually on those basketball shooting games, where the winner is rewarded with a low grade basketball painted intermittently with a random college team’s logo. but amusement parks are cool. something for everyone. and for everyone, a good time. flock to the local six flags, people. add that to your fantasy profile.
mankind
strengths: knows where to go to have fun; riding the hooker at six flags.
